📖 Chapter 9: If I Were You

Word/Phrase	Meaning
cultured	sophisticated; well mannered
count on	depend on; rely on
engaged	occupied; busy
melodramatic	exaggerated
to be smart	(American English) a person who pretends to know a lot
inflection	here, a tone of voice
wise guy	(American English) an informal way of saying that one is being too clever
a dandy bus	an informal expression for a fashionable vehicle
tradespeople	merchants
gratuitous	unnecessary and usually harmful
dodge	avoid
lucky break	an unexpected opportunity for success
Sunday-school teacher	a Christian religious teacher who teaches on Sundays in Church
frame	trap

(i) Gerrard says this.

(ii) He says it when the intruder asks him to talk about himself. The intruder wants to know about Gerrard so that he can take on his identity.

(iii) He is sarcastic, not serious. He is making fun of the intruder's demand to know about him.

Answer: The intruder chooses Gerrard because Gerrard is a mysterious man. He phones his orders, sometimes goes away suddenly, and comes back just the same. He never sees tradespeople. This makes it easy for the intruder to assume his identity and avoid the police.

(i) Gerrard says this.

(ii) It means that he shot someone with a gun to escape when things went wrong.

(iii) No, it is not the truth. Gerrard says this to save himself from the intruder. He wants the intruder to believe that he is also a dangerous criminal, so that the intruder will not kill him.

Answer: Gerrard's profession is that of a playwright (a person who writes plays). The parts of the play that support this are:

• "This is all very melodramatic, not very original, perhaps, but..."
• "At last a sympathetic audience!"
• "In most melodramas the villain is foolish enough to delay his killing long enough to be frustrated."
• "I said, you were luckier than most melodramatic villains."
• "That's a disguise outfit; false moustaches and what not."
• "Sorry I can't let you have the props in time for rehearsal, I've had a spot of bother – quite amusing. I think I'll put it in my next play."

(i) The intruder says this.

(ii) The intruder says this to frighten Gerrard and to make him answer his questions.

(iii) According to the speaker, when Gerrard learns that the intruder has come to kill him and take on his identity, he will stop being smart.

(i) The intruder says this.

(ii) The speaker says this because he has already committed one murder. He is telling Gerrard that he won't mind killing him too, because the police cannot hang him twice for the same offence.

Answer: The mystery is Gerrard's own mysterious lifestyle. Gerrard explains that he is not a criminal, but a playwright. His mysterious habits—phoning orders, going away suddenly, and not seeing tradespeople—are part of his disguise outfit and his profession as a dramatist. He makes up stories and uses disguises for his plays.

(i) This has been said twice in the play. First, when the intruder tells Gerrard that he is going to kill him. Second, when Gerrard tells the intruder that he is not a criminal but a playwright.

(ii) The first surprise is the intruder's plan to kill Gerrard and take on his identity. The second surprise is Gerrard's revelation that he is a playwright who uses disguises and mysterious habits for his plays, and that the intruder has fallen into a trap.

1. The site of the accident was ghastly.

2. Our college principal is very strict.

3. I studied continuously for eight hours.

4. The fog had an adverse effect on the traffic.

5. Cezanne, the famous French painter, was a brilliant artist.

6. The book that you gave me yesterday is an extraordinary collage of science fiction and mystery.

7. Our school will host an exhibition on cruelty to animals and wildlife conservation.

8. Screw the lid tightly onto the top of the bottle and shake well before using the contents.

What the author says	What he means
Why, this is a surprise, Mr — er —	He pretends that the intruder is a social visitor whom he is welcoming. In this way he hides his fear.
At last a sympathetic audience!	He pretends that the intruder wants to listen to him, whereas actually the intruder wants to find out information for his own use.
I'm sorry. I thought you were telling me, not asking me.	He is being ironic. He knows the intruder is asking him questions, but he pretends to think he was just telling a story.
You were luckier than most melodramatic villains.	He is mocking the intruder for being like a villain in a play who delays killing and gets caught.
That's a disguise outfit; false moustaches and what not.	He is being ironic. The intruder thinks Gerrard is a criminal, but Gerrard reveals it is just a costume for his plays.

Noun	Adjective	Adverb	Verb	Meaning
sympathy	sympathetic	sympathetically	sympathize	feeling of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune
familiarity	familiar	familiarly	familiarize	close acquaintance with or knowledge of something
comfort	comfortable	comfortably	comfort	a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint
care	careful	carefully	care	the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, and protection of someone
surprise	surprised / surprising	surprisingly	surprise	an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing

Sample Answer:

You won't believe what happened to me last night! I was packing my bag for rehearsals when suddenly this man entered my cottage. He had a revolver in his hand. He was flashily dressed—overcoat, soft hat. He looked like a typical villain from a melodrama!

He told me he was going to kill me and take on my identity. He knew all about me—that I live alone, that I never see tradespeople, that I go away suddenly and come back just the same. He thought I was a criminal like him!

But I kept my cool. I told him I was a playwright, not a criminal. I said my mysterious habits were just a disguise outfit for my plays. Then I offered to help him escape. I told him my car was in the garage. He believed me and followed me to the door. But when he leaned forward to look, I pushed him into the cupboard and locked him in! Then I called the Sergeant. It was quite amusing, really. I think I'll put it in my next play!

Gerrard:
Gerrard is smart, witty, cool, confident, and nonchalant. He is a playwright who keeps his calm even when a gun is pointed at him. He uses his intelligence and presence of mind to outwit the intruder. He is humorous and ironic, making fun of the intruder's melodramatic behaviour. He is also a talented actor, as he successfully pretends to be a criminal to save his life.

The Intruder:
The Intruder is flashy, boastful, and clever, but not as clever as Gerrard. He is a criminal who has killed a cop and is on the run. He thinks he is smart, but he is easily fooled by Gerrard's acting. He is desperate and dangerous, willing to kill again to escape. However, he is also foolish, as he falls into Gerrard's trap and gets locked in the cupboard.

The Playwright's Trap

Gerrard was packing his bag when a man with a revolver entered his cottage. The intruder was flashily dressed and had a cruel smile. He told Gerrard that he was going to kill him and take on his identity.

Gerrard remained calm. He knew he had to think fast. He pretended to be a criminal too. He told the intruder that he was a murderer who had killed a cop. The intruder was surprised but believed him.

Gerrard then offered to help the intruder escape. He said his car was in the garage. The intruder followed him to the door. But when he leaned forward to look, Gerrard pushed him into the cupboard and locked it. Then he called the Sergeant.

The intruder was trapped. Gerrard smiled. "I think I'll put this in my next play," he said.